- 11 Questions To Ask Your Aging Parents

It's hard to know where to start the important conversations about future care needs with our parents. It's a serious issue that conjures up fears of loss in both the child and the parent. We tip toe around the point and never understand our parent's true feelings about their care.

By not having "the conversation", critical decisions are postponed until there's a crisis. Trying to make critical life decisions in the heat of a problem can be avoided with a series of honest conversations between you and your aging parents.

Remember to take your time. Be understanding and expect some resistance. But over time, you will have a better understanding of your parent's concerns and know what steps you can take so the future is less stressful for all concerned.

Mom is it okay for me to talk to you about your future financial and care needs?
If you should become ill, who do want to handle your finances?
In the event you become seriously ill, what level of care/ help would you want?
Have you compiled a list of your important financial and legal papers? Where is it kept?
Have you prepared a list of your medications? Where do you keep it?
If you become ill and I need to contact your doctors, where will I find the phone numbers?
Would you like to speak to us (the family) about your belongings and how you would like them to be divided, even if you've already specified this in your will?
Are there any daily chores you'd like us to help you with around the house now? If you become too infirm to handle actions like getting to the doctor, the dentist, the hairdresser, would you like me to be available to help out?
If you can't take care of yourself physically, where would you prefer to live? At home with care? With a family member? In an assisted living facility?
What would you do if one of you becomes incapacitated and other one is not?
Have you made financial arrangements for either of these eventualities?

I've laid out these questions in a ready-to-use format for you, too, with plenty of space between each question to jot down the your parent's responses.