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| Relieving Caregiver Stress:The Magic Solution |
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A little known, highly potent stress reliever No it's not a pill, potion or tea. Yet those who use it feel stress and anger slowly dissipate to be replaced with calmness and peace of mind. As powerful as this stress reliever is, it rarely used. The magic solution is called forgiveness. It's easy to let yourself get angry as a caregiver. You find yourself unable to control a lot that goes on in your life and the life of the family member needing care. You can't stop their health decline. Your schedule may seem like it's not yours any longer. Money is pouring out of your pocket to pick up expenses you hadn't planned for. You might even be irate because your parent's failed to take better care of themselves. Or because they got sick in the first place. I read all the time that anger is a part of the caregiving landscape. I've seen and experienced it first hand. But does it have to be? The one element you have total control over is your thoughts. And it's never the situation that is good or bad, but how you think about it. I'm not trying to diminish the difficulty of caregiving. What I am saying is you determine how bad it is for you. Nobody else can do that but you. Those feeling come from the inside not from without. So how do you work forgiveness come into the caregiving picture? When you find yourself twisted up in the negative energy of a situation, ask yourself a simple question: "Is this where I want to be emotionally?" If the answer is "Yes", ask yourself why. Anger offers a false sense of power. Whatever strength you perceive it provides is a lie. Anger does nothing to solve a problem. When you're angry clear, workable solutions remain elusive. If you reply "no", when you let yourself set aside your bad ideas, considerations and actions, your life gets better. Stress eases in. Forgiveness is a choice. Just like not forgiving is a choice. By not forgiving you allow yourself to be manacled to the energy of the people and circumstances creating the negativity you immerse yourself in. Being forgiving frees you from those shackles and enables you to get on with your life. Forgiveness has other important health benefits. It reduces stress and lowers blood pressure. It's also been shown to reduce the chances of heart disease, cancer and illnesses. Is it easy to forgive? Will it take a long time? That depends on your individual circumstances. But if you don't start now, you'll never rid yourself of that poison. Practicing forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not for others. Next time your blood starts to boil, think about the idea of being forgiving instead. Give this potent stress reliever a chance to work it's magic in your life. |